Handling Controlling Reactive Parts

DNMS Navigator for
Handling Controlling Reactive Parts

DNMS therapists are often bewildered and challenged by Controlling Reactive Parts. These are ego states that often feel threatened by therapy. They can covertly and overtly interrupt processing – and not just processing of painful memories, but nurturing and soothing as well. When they show up in session – whether invited or uninvited – it may be to sabotage your efforts.

Perhaps you can recall some you’ve encountered in the past. Controlling Reactive Parts will typically…

  • Be angry at you
  • Be suspicious of you
  • Act like they’re in charge
  • Say they don’t need the Resources
  • Say they don’t need/want to be comforted
  • Be defiant, oppositional, controlling
  • Often need/want to block processing
Cost: $25

After placing your order, you’ll get an email with an authorization code and a web link with instructions for downloading the Navigator to your device (PC, Mac, iPad, Android, or Kindle Fire).

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Controlling Reactive Parts usually form in childhood to solve relational problems within a dysfunctional family. For example, if at age 9, it was unsafe to express a need or ask for help, a 9 year old Controlling Reactive Part might form to shut down other parts of self that want to express a need or ask for help – to maximize the possibility of childhood safety. But when the adult self comes to therapy, this 9 year old part STILL believes asking for help is unsafe. This part might interfere with your help covertly by making the adult self sleepy, by giving her a headache, or just keeping her distracted. Or the part might interfere overtly, by verbally attacking you. Because this 9 year old part can derail the therapy, helping her heal becomes your highest priority.

This Navigator is a simple, easy-to-use, downloadable “app” for your laptop, iPad, Android phone or tablet, or Kindle Fire. (A version for the iPhone is pending.) It’s a PDF of a 78-slide PowerPoint slide show you can use in session, while talking to a Controlling Reactive Part. Each slide provides a short script for a needed task, and each is hyperlinked to another slide with a script for the next needed task. The scripts will show you what to say to controlling parts to establish rapport, to build trust, and to orient them to present time. It will show you how to gently take a part from shunning Resources to trusting them, and wanting to be nurtured by them. It will support you in resolving many of the typical misunderstandings Controlling Reactive Parts have. As you guide the part through the tasks, hopefulness and cooperation replace fear and opposition.

This Navigator does not guide you through a fixed, linear protocol. Instead it’s centered around a menu of 6 basic interventions. Each intervention consists of several small tasks. You’ll use your good clinical judgement to decide which interventions to use, and in what order, depending on what the controlling part needs, moment-to-moment, as your conversation unfolds.

If you’d rather not use an electronic device during a session, be aware this Navigator can also be highly effective study guide. Study it between sessions to learn how to take Controlling Reactive Parts from hostility to harmony.

Click on the DEMO Navigator button below, to see how it works.